so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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