There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
