That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i drank out of a bidet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
