Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
