i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
