You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
