I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
