i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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