i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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