just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
