Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
