Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
