you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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