Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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