Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
