i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
