Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
