I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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