I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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