I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
