I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
