Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
