Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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