When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
are you so shy because you have an std?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
