Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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