I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
