After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
