Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
