i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
