i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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