Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
