it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
