Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
