She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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