Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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