I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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