They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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