I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
