White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
