the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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