Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
