WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't turn off my feet"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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