scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My vagina is very pro this idea
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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