only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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