you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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