i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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