Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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