i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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