My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've blown a few things in my day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
