Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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