My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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