one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
