i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
